Month: February 2021

Start here

Welcome! You’re probably here because you’ve noticed something isn’t quite right.

If you’ve experienced pain during sex, trouble inserting a tampon, or if you are unable to tolerate any vaginal penetration you’ve come to the right place.

Let’s begin by taking a deep breath in, right down deep into the belly. Aaaaand release.

The good news is that you are not alone, you are not a burden and what is happening to you right now is not your fault.

You are not broken, you can get better, and the best part is this is no longer your burden to carry alone.

Congratulations on taking a huge step forward by downloading this app. You’ve chosen to educate yourself on the problem and not just hope, pray and dream it will go away.

Together we are going to unpack the complexity, learn more about the pelvic floor, and empower each other through this experience.

Hold on tight!

Time to talk treatment

Treatment starts here

‘Spending all night on Facebook reading threads from strangers, alone in the dark, under my snuggie, is SO much fun on a Saturday night!’ Said no one, ever.

Luckily for you this genius GINA has taken all the research, guesswork, Facebook groups, Youtube videos, and Reddit AMAs off your hands and below you will find a simple, straightforward breakdown of the most common treatments for vaginismus.

It’s important to remember that vaginismus is a neuropathic pain, meaning the nerves in the body are signaling pain up to the brain from your vagina. Therefore, the best approach to treatment is a holistic and multidisciplinary approach; we want to treat the mind and body in a number of ways together.

Think of treatment like a buffet; you can pick and choose what you like. Feel like having dessert first? Go for it! Need to spend more time in the appetizer section? You sure can!

So go ahead and work your way through each type of treatment and then we can regroup and go through what a possible treatment plan could look like for you.

Brain-body balance?

Fear, anxiety, and sexual trauma

Post author By Gina
Post date February 26, 2021
No Comments on Fear, anxiety, and sexual trauma

Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me … and fear, anxiety, and sexual trauma.

Sorry, Marvin Gaye but this is way more important.

The psychological effects of vaginismus are often treated as secondary to physical pain. However, it’s important to remember that the brain is a key sexual organ, so fear and anxiety can both have a hand in causing pain during sex.

Feelings of fear, stress, or anxiety can make arousal difficult (sexual arousal coming up soon).

This means the vagina might not fully lengthen and there might not be enough lubrication being produced to have comfortable and enjoyable sex. A lack of lubrication causes friction, which can cause pain.

Welcome to the concept of the pain/fear loop.

When sex hurts, the brain remembers and can start to associate sex with pain – making it a scary experience.

Luckily, sex therapy and cultivating a mindfulness practice can be useful for disrupting the cycle of fear and pain. It can also help manage stress and anxieties that might be negatively impacting your sex life.

Sexual trauma often creates feelings of anxiety, anticipation, or fear about sex, this can make being present and becoming aroused really hard.

If you have experienced sexual trauma of any kind, you are not alone. None of this is your fault and we recommend you reach out to your local crisis centre for confidential help and support.

Here are a few good places to start:

1800respect.org.au
rainn.org
rcne.com

A sex therapist is often best placed to deal with the effects of sexual trauma and will be a great step towards healing and recovery.

In addition, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) involves learning how to manage stress and anxiety through relaxation techniques (breathing exercises too!), positive self-talk, and gradually approaching feared situations.

GINAs have improved through understanding how distorted perceptions and thoughts contribute to painful feelings and experiences.

CBT therapy is also a great companion to some of the physical therapy discussed in the ‘Let’s Talk Treatment’ section.

What the hell is going on?

What is vaginismus?

Vaginismus is a recurrent or persistent involuntary vaginal muscle spasm causing vaginal discomfort, burning sensations, and pain.

The involuntary muscle spasms prevent vaginal penetration, which often results in a complete inability to have penetrative sex.

Sexual pain disorders, like vaginismus, are commonly misdiagnosed or left unaddressed. There is still no definitive medical test for the diagnosis of vaginismus, so it often takes visits to several doctors or specialists before a diagnosis is obtained. Yippee.

But that’s ok because guess what, sunshine? We’re in this together and your experience with vaginismus is about to get a whole lot easier.

Facts

Ok, it’s time to talk about some Fast and Furious Facts.

Just kidding! Reliable statistics for the incidence of vaginismus do not exist.

Unfortunately, due to shame or embarrassment, many people do not seek help (but not you!), while some are given an incorrect diagnosis and are never properly treated.

Healthcare providers don’t really keep statistics on the number of vagina-owners specifically seeking help for vaginal penetration problems (that sucks) and sadly, some resign themselves to a life devoid of a sexual relationship, falsely thinking they can never be healed (that sucks more).

We’ve done the research, and here’s what we do know:

Vaginismus affects approximately 5 – 17% percent of people with vaginas
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists found that one in three people with vaginas will experience painful sex at some point (that’s huge)
Research suggests that sexual dysfunction is common, with 43% of people with vaginas and 31% of people with penises reporting some degree of sexual difficulty

And the most important fact of all: VAGINISMUS IS TREATABLE (wahoo for you).

Time to unpack some of this information.

Basically, there are two types of vaginismus; primary and secondary.

Primary vaginismus occurs when penetrative sex or other vaginal penetration cannot be experienced without pain.

Secondary vaginismus occurs when a person who has previously been able to achieve penetration develops vaginismus.

So what causes these two types of vaginismus? Read on, reader!

What the hell is going on?

Primary vaginismus

Primary vaginismus is commonly caused by negative messages about sex and sexual relations during childhood. This fear around sex can develop due to several factors such as:

Fear of sex, pregnancy, childbirth, or sexually transmitted diseases or infections
Strict religious upbringing or sexual beliefs such as believing sex is wrong or that penetration will cause pain, injury, and bleeding
Limited understanding of genitalia

Welcome

Before we begin

A few important messages before we begin.

Here at team GINA, we understand that not everyone who is a woman has a uterus, ovaries, or a vagina. Similarly, not everyone with a vagina is a woman.

The purpose of GINA is to provide helpful information, via transparent and clear communication. We hope GINA can be a trusted resource among the LGBTIQ+ community and those suffering from vaginismus no matter how they self-identify. Lastly, and most importantly – GINA is no doctor. The information in this app is based on research and a range of personal experiences. The app is an informational resource designed to guide users through their own experiences with vaginismus.

We recommend seeking additional support from healthcare professionals and experts such as gynecologists, pelvic floor therapists, and sex psychologists.

Ready, set, SEX!

You got this!

OK, GINAs, you’ve put in the work and you’ve completed your transformation from high school ugly duckling to Princess of Genovia.

Whoops sorry, wrong storyline.

It’s not all bad news though, in fact here’s some good news, GINA is here to stay!

Yep GINA will be here for you to refer back to when you need it, if you’ve activated your notifications we will beep you when we need to reach you.

Let’s stay connected and get through this together!

Before we say bye, here is some food for thought: there is so much more to sex than penetration.

Collectively, we need to move away from this narrative of penetrative, phallocentric sex being the only enjoyable or ‘proper’ definition of sex.

It isn’t. It’s not even close. You can define your sexual relationships however you like, intimacy, connection and sex should be explored.

There is still so much to learn about sex and pleasure, and there are so many questions medical professionals still cannot answer.

What we do need though, is greater conversation and awareness around sexual pain.

You deserve it, we all do.

We hope GINA will help break down the stigma and silence around vaginismus.

We need to learn more, we need to do more, and we need to talk more.

Take care.

Time to talk treatment

Breathing exercises

Yes, breathing exercises! This is where we begin, and I know what you’re thinking, ain’t nobody got time for that! But this is one of the core exercises you must master as a little grasshopper.

Breathing seems pretty straight forward but breathing to relax the pelvic floor is what we really need to focus on.

Together, we are going to learn the basics of diaphragmatic breathing, aka filling your diaphragm with air, which in turn lowers and relaxes your pelvic floor.

Sit comfortably. If you are sitting on something, try to sit with your knees bent and your shoulders, head, and neck relaxed. If you are sitting on the floor the same applies; get comfortable and relax your upper body.
Place one hand on your upper chest and the other just below your rib cage so you can feel your diaphragm move as you breathe
Breathe in slowly through your nose so that your stomach moves out against your hand, the hand on your chest should remain as still as possible (your tummy should kind of feel like a balloon filling with air)
You will notice your pelvic floor move down and relax (yay!), try and keep this relaxed state as you slowly breathe out through your mouth or nose
Repeat!

Brain-body balance?

Isolation and depression

Having vaginismus kinda feels like sitting an exam in a language you do not know. Absolutely useless.

Feelings of isolation and depression suck and chances are if you are experiencing vaginismus you have felt this way recently. The thing that really sucks is there are probably lots of GINAs all around you, every day and you might never know!

Here’s a fun little game you can play when you are feeling down. Look around you when you are:

Waiting for a table at a busy cafe – chances are there is a GINA nearby
Covered in glitter in the mosh pit at a festival – definitely more than one GINA there!
Watching the Oscars red carpet – Yep there is definitely more than one GINA there too
Sitting in the waiting room at your PFP – kidding! But not really, there will be GINAs there too

Vaginismus is everywhere! The only way to find GINAs around you is to be brave enough to talk about sexual pain.

No, you don’t need to get a face tattoo and take it upon yourself to educate every person in your homeroom.

When you feel comfortable and secure enough, choose one close friend or confidant, a therapist or a mentor, a parent or a parental figure, and talk to them about your experience with painful sex. OMG, ARE YOU CRAZY!

Crazier than a 9-month lockdown baby! Talking helps, we are all human and we all crave connection. You don’t have to go into the details, you don’t even have to talk about vaginismus, sex, or vaginas.

One golden nugget to always remember – comparison is the killer of joy. Sounds like Confucius but also could have been some girl at the bar last week, no?

Conversation suggestions

‘I’m not really feeling myself at the moment, can we do something fun to take my mind off things?’
‘My body is not responding to sex like it usually does, I am feeling pretty confused’
‘I’m feeling very isolated by my experience with painful sex’

If you are looking for more helpful ways to start safe and supportive conversations visit the ‘Helpful Conversations’ section of the app.

Time to talk treatment

Pelvic floor stretching

Overactive pelvic floor muscles are not something that’s easily noticed by people day-to-day, in fact, many people notice a lack of tension in their pelvic floor and often exercise to increase strength in the pelvic floor (think kegel exercises).

However, people with vaginismus often have an overactive and tight pelvic floor, or even trigger points or specific areas of tension within the muscle that can feel painful when pressed.

The goal with pelvic floor exercises is to combine simple stretches with mindful breathing techniques to loosen the muscles in and around the pelvis and relax the pelvic floor.

So, you probably skipped the breathing exercises topic thinking you knew everything there was to know about breathing? Go back, because you’ll need to combine these techniques with the pelvic stretches below.

Ok, now you’re all caught up on how to breathe (lol ok thanks). Below you will find a number of simple stretches that are designed to loosen the pelvic region. Follow the stretching plan and hold each stretch for 30 seconds as you breathe mindfully into your belly.

Remember to stretch both the left and right sides. These exercises will help most when done every day and most GINAs find it useful to do these in the evenings as it relaxes them before bed and loosens their bodies from a busy day.

Remember – the most important exercise is an internal one, contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor. Kinda hard to do.

TO NOTE! (aka important)

These exercises should not cause pain, if you do feel pain visit your doctor or physiotherapist, they can investigate further or give you some alternative stretches to suit your body.

If you find these hard to do based on just the images, go ahead and find a video on YouTube by searching ‘pelvic floor guided relaxation’ or search for one of the poses named above.

This will ensure you are holding and performing the stretches properly and will help you get into a routine if you have never tried this before.

Jaw and floor – Most people will hold tension in their jaw or their pelvic floor!

Further along, we will discuss physiotherapy in more detail, but any good pelvic floor physio will teach you these stretching and breathing techniques. These are the basics baby, you gotta be able to tango before you can foxtrot!