Category: Ready, set, SEX!

OK, GINAs, you’ve put in the work and you’ve completed your transformation from high school ugly duckling to Princess of Genovia.

Whoops sorry, wrong storyline.

It’s not all bad news though, in fact here’s some good news, GINA is here to stay!

Yep GINA will be here for you to refer back to when you need it, if you’ve activated your notifications we will beep you when we need to reach you.

Let’s stay connected and get through this together!

Before we say bye, here is some food for thought: there is so much more to sex than penetration.

Collectively, we need to move away from this narrative of penetrative, phallocentric sex being the only enjoyable or ‘proper’ definition of sex.

It isn’t. It’s not even close. You can define your sexual relationships however you like, intimacy, connection and sex should be explored.

There is still so much to learn about sex and pleasure, and there are so many questions medical professionals still cannot answer.

What we do need though, is greater conversation and awareness around sexual pain.

You deserve it, we all do.

We hope GINA will help break down the stigma and silence around vaginismus.

We need to learn more, we need to do more, and we need to talk more.

Take care.

LUBE! Our favorite L-word (we also love lamingtons, linguini, lemonade, and love! But lube is still no.1) 

Not all lubricants were made the same. This is an essential piece of knowledge to carry with you in your back pocket for when you want to impress someone at orientation or if you ever host your own trivia night. There are three schools of thought here: water-based lubricants, silicone-based lubricants, and oil-based lubricants. 

Water-based: widely available, safe to use with latex condoms, easy to wash off with soap and water, however they evaporate faster than other types, so frequent reapplication may be necessary. 

Silicone-based: super slippery (which can make them especially good for non-vaginal intercourse), won’t degrade latex condoms but can damage silicone sex toys (and silicone dilators for that matter). 

Oil-based: Can’t be used with latex condoms since oil degrades the latex, can get pretty messy, although, a good choice for people who are sensitive to certain additives and preservatives common in water- or silicone-based lubricants.

Choose the best lubricant for your vagina but it’s important to remember you may need more than one. For dilators, we recommend water-based lubricants as they are easily cleaned up and won’t damage your dilator no matter the material.

If you have graduated to trying penetrative intercourse with your partner (WAHOO GO YOU!) you may want to try a silicone-based lubricant instead or stick to water-based if that works for you. Just remember to reapply! 

As a general rule steer clear of scented, flavored, or pimped-out lubricants, they usually have way too many additives and could cause a reaction or sensitivity to your GINA.

Not an issue for you? You enjoy that watermelon sugar sex you lucky thing! 

Hopefully, by now we have well and truly established that sex is more than just penetration. If you are progressing with your dilators, it could be a good time to start experimenting with positions that allow for more control during penetrative sex. 

The goal here is to control the depth of penetration and move at a pace that makes you feel most comfortable. Below are some suggested positions you might like to try with a partner when you feel ready. 

But first, some important reminders: 

• If these positions cause you any pain stop immediately, you don’t want to reinforce the pain fear loop 
• Communicating with your partner is key, make sure to communicate at every step, this should be pain-free and enjoyable for you
• Tweak these positions to suit you and your partner
• You don’t need a partner with a penis, you can use fingers or toys 
• Lube! Use lots and lots of lube (if you are using toys make sure to use the right kind – see our lube topic here)

On Top 

Positioning yourself on top of your partner allows you to have more control over the pace and depth of penetration. Start with your partner laying down flat on their back. Next, your partner should bend their knees and place their feet flat on the mattress. This position will allow you to climb on top (either facing away or towards your partner) and lean against their thighs for support. By leaning on your partner, you can concentrate more on relaxing your pelvic floor through deep belly breaths. Keep close attention to your inner thighs and try not to clench them. Instead transfer some of your weight onto your partner’s body and focus on relaxing your inner thigh muscles. 

Spooning

Spooning is a great position to limit clenching your thighs or pelvic floor muscles. Start by laying down on your side, then bring your knees up towards your tummy, almost as if you are crouching (or forming an S shape). Your partner should lay down next to you in a similar position. Your butt will act as a cushion here, and you can control the depth of penetration by sliding your legs down (into I shape) for deeper penetration. You can stay in an S shape or crouch to decrease the depth of penetration. Focus on your breathing and communicating with your partner. This position also allows for a clitoral reach-around from your partner or the opportunity for you to clitorally stimulate yourself, as this is a hands-free sex position.

‘Outercourse’ 

Tongues, toys, and touching! Oral sex, mutual masturbation, and ‘outercourse’ are great choices for enjoying sex without penetration. Focus on what brings you pleasure and release yourself from the pressure to have penetrative sex. 

Some studies have shown that only 18.4% of people with a vagina orgasm from penetrative sex alone

If you don’t find this type of sex enjoyable and you experience pain from touching outside around the vulva you could have vulvodynia, check out or glossary to learn how this is different from vaginismus.