Sexual arousal seems simple enough but it depends on so much!
Arousal is essential in the battle against vaginismus because vaginal lengthening and lubrication are all factors of pain-free sex.
If you are having trouble in this department that’s totally ok. Some studies show a decrease in libido among people with vaginismus, endometriosis, and vulvodynia.
Here’s a little mental checklist next time you are struggling, because remember GINAs – the brain is a sexual organ too.
- Self – how do you feel about yourself emotionally and physically?
- Sex – how do you feel about sex?
- Body – how is your body feeling? Tight? Tired? Sore?
- Partner – how do you feel about your partner? Do you want to have sex with them?
- Relationship – do you feel safe? Do you trust this person?
- Environment – are you comfortable? Cold? Cramped?
While you can totally have enjoyable sex without ticking every box (sex on the beach sounds fun, sand does not) just remember that these factors could influence how aroused you are in the moment.
Having sex while your partner’s family is next door playing scrabble sounds stressful. So does trying to fit in some fun in a bathroom stall without a lock.
Try identifying some areas to work on, or next time you are experiencing a lack of arousal do a little mental check from the list above and see if you feel more comfortable, aroused, and less anxious.
If you want to know more about arousal, in particular how masturbation can help during dilator therapy, see ‘Dilators’ under ‘Let’s Talk Treatment’.