The stigma surrounding pleasure is a tale as old as time. From the patriarchal origins of sexual theory (think Freud) to the growing market for genital cosmetic surgery, there continues to be shame surrounding genitalia, sex, and pleasure.
For example, the shame and discrimination faced by the LGBTQIA+ community impact the resources, health services, and support available to them.
The pressure for women to orgasm exclusively through penetrative sex and the myths surrounding the ‘g-spot’ deepen the misinformation surrounding female pleasure. Enforcing penetration as the endgame of sex contributes to women’s ongoing sexual dissatisfaction.
While there are some mainstream disruptions such as Netflix’s Big Mouth and Sex Education, many of us are continually working to unlearn or let go of negative sexual norms.
If you are suffering from vaginismus, just remember, it is not your fault. Through your journey to pain-free sex, you will learn so much more about your body, pleasure, and satisfaction than you knew before.
There is so much more to life than sex, and there is so much more to sex than penetration.
Try exploring some new literature, discussing some of your pre-conceived notions around sex and pleasure with your sex therapist (or a friend), and even just listening to some sex-positive podcasts.
If you are not already surrounded by sex-positive conversations (we get it, family dinners are not the best place to bring up who taught you about pleasure) try surrounding yourself with them virtually.
We live in an age where you can explore so many different ideas on sexuality and pleasure, right at your fingertips. We also love dirty jokes.
