Remember that episode where Monica told Rachel and Phoebe that she was experiencing pain during sex and didn’t know what to do?
Yeah me neither! It’s easy to feel let down, confused and isolated and that’s why it’s important to be able to talk with and seek guidance from a professional.
Sex therapy is a specialized category of clinical therapy, specializing in handling issues with sexual function, sexual relationships, sexual concerns, and sexual expression.
Many people seek the services of a sex therapist for different reasons.
Couples invest in it because they might not be enjoying the sexual intimacy they once had. A patient might want to find a cure for painful sex, intimacy after childbirth, changes in libido, or orgasm. Sexual therapists can help with experiences of trauma, rape, and assault.
The thought of seeing a sex therapist can be scary, embarrassing, and difficult, however having an open, safe and supportive dialogue around sexual pain is the right of every person and the best part is, sex therapists, know all about vaginismus!
Your sexual therapist can provide information about sexual anatomy, sexual response cycles you may be experiencing, and help you understand your pain and the processes your body is going through.
Your therapist can also identify, help you express, and resolve any emotional factors that may be contributing to your vaginismus.
Ok sounds good, so how do I get one and what do I do?
Your regular doctor, PFP, or gynecologist should be able to refer you to a sex therapist. Your first session will usually explore your sexual and personal background, sexual education and beliefs, and your specific concerns.
It’s ok to feel uncomfortable, scared, unsure, silly, vulnerable, and more than a little embarrassed.
After your first session, you should feel more confident in being able to express your sexual pain and talk more openly about what you are going through. Isolation and depression can be some of the biggest and most challenging aspects of vaginismus (we will cover these too) and being able to talk openly without fear of judgment can be freeing!
The best part is you are talking to a specialist, you are in safe hands and sexual counseling is one of the biggest and bravest steps you can take in your journey to pain-free sex.
Pro tip – If you are struggling with how to discuss sexual pain with your support network, visit the ‘Helpful Conversations’ section of the app for some suggestions on how to start safe and respectful conversations.